All Euphemisms Aside

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


Not so long ago I found myself sitting in a doctor's waiting room doing what most of us do when we find ourselves in that situation, desperately looking for a way to forget that I was sitting in a waiting room. Tragically, the book that I was reading had taken a turn for the boring. This was particularly disappointing to be because I had thus far only managed to get it half of it colored in.

Deprived of my artistic expression I began to search for something else to occupy my mind. The lady who sat a few seats to my right and for some reason felt the need to stare at me without blinking for twenty minutes strait for no apparent reason was no help. Nor was the old lady sitting across from me who, rather that utilizing water to bath in such as we commoner's do, had instead opted for the more sophisticated choice of bathing in perfume. In her defense, however, I will say that she seemed to have chosen the rather delightful fragrance of Eau De Zyklon B. I know my rapidly melting lung tissue appreciated that small touch of class.

As I sat there, gasping for air, the TV bolted to the wall announced that it was time for the news. Normally I pay no attention to the news, the fourth estate having forgotten how to do it's job long ago, but this time something caught my attention. Attempting to refocus my, now oxygen deprived, brain on the TV I heard the story of a young woman who was auctioning off her virginity in order to pay for grad school. I made a note to check out the story when I returned home and promptly passed out.

Upon reviving and making my way home I fired up my porn-choked computer and did a search for the story. Sure enough, I found it. I read the story and then watched a clip of an interview done with the young lady by CNN. For those of you unfamiliar with CNN, it is a cable channel that at one time, in the distant past, showed news stories.

In the brief clip that I saw, the young lady had suggested that what she was doing by selling her virginity was empowering not only herself, but women in general. The truly impressive thing was that she managed to make this statement, not only with a straight face but with a look in her eye that said that she believed the drivel that was issuing forth from her.

There is a word for what she is doing and it is not "empowerment", it's "whoring".

Now, don't get me wrong, I think whoring is a noble profession and should both be legalized world-wide and re-classified as therapy, but it still is what it is. If you engage in sex acts for money, no matter what your reason for needing said money, you are a whore. You are not an empowered anything. Now you can feel empowered by the act but you are still a whore.

Now I know the word "whore" has a negative connotation in our society and the word "prostitute" may sound a bit kinder to the ear but I have always preferred the blatant honesty of the word "whore". It is not a word that hides behind and almost technical sounding facade. It is just there, right out in the open: "WHORE"!!!. It is a word that says: "Here I am in all my glory and if you don't like it you can go fuck yourself... or me, for a price."

I have no problem with what this woman is doing, in fact, I applaud her decision. Hell, the only reason I didn't do this myself was that I could barely give it away (BTW, thank you St. Alcohol). The sad truth, is that I, like most of the people that dwell in this planet, am not "whoring-worthy". If I could do this, I would have already had my PhD by now! If one is whoring-worthy, and chooses to act on it, good on you, but be honest about it!

If you engage in sexual activity for money, you are not a sex-worker, a porn actor/actress, a gigolo, an escort or a gold-digger! You are a whore! Stand up an be proud of it! Go to the window, throw it open, stick your head out and yell to the heavens: "I AM A WHORE AND I AM PROUD SO FUCK YOU, WORLD! Reasonable payment plans available for qualified renters."




RANT OVER... FOR NOW