Today I would like to rant a bit about a few of my favorite things: sculpting, toys and nipples. Bear with me, this will make sense in a a bit. Well, make as much sense as anything I write.
I was in a Walmart (henceforth to be referred to by its proper name: Wally World or Wally for short) and, in accordance with federal law, I looked through the toy section. There was a glut of Avenger figures with far less articulation than there should be, (that's another rant) and I saw some of the larger Avengers figures. The one that really caught my eye was the Hulk.
The sculpt of the figure was excellent. Well proportioned with plenty of fine detail with one notable exception, well, two really. You can see where this is going, huh? The missing bits were, as you have guessed, nipples. Now normally I don't go around fondling action figures in an attempt to feel nipples no matter what those police reports say, but on a sculpt this good it kind of sticks out like a sore... thumb.
Now, if this were the first time I have seen this omission I would chalk it up to crap quality control but that is not the case. As a general rule, action figures that are shirtless, are missing them. My question here is: WHY?!? I mean really, can anyone come up with a good reason for this?
The prudish among us would say that a child's toy doesn't need to be that detailed. I agree, it is far more healthy to treat a normal aspect of human anatomy as dirty and immoral. Hey, if we are lucky, maybe we can get a good case of shame going too. To all of the "think of the children!" crowd, I have a little secret for you. Barring horrible accident or radical surgery, your children have nipples! No, really, they do and so do you!
It wasn't just the fact that his nipples were missing, it was the fact that the rest of the sculpt was so detailed. I mean correct musculature, toenails even the texture of the skin! All that but nipples are too much detail? What I have to wonder is if the sculptors are given the anti-nipple mandate or if they are removed somewhere down the line.
I freely admit that my views on the human anatomy, specifically the appropriateness of its display, are not the same as mainstream America and it has been suggested to me that all of my sculpts don't all have to be anatomically correct and detailed, but come on! They are nipples not an invitation to have free candy in that creepy guy on the corner's van! Seeing human anatomy molded in plastic will not turn your children into twisted sexual deviants, leave that to organized religion.
Have we, as a society, really become that tightly wound that nipples, part of what defines us as mammals, are so offensive that we would remove them from an otherwise beautiful sculpt? It is art for crying out loud! That is just sad. By the way, who can tell me what inevitably happens when something is wound too tightly? Just saying.
Rant Over...for now
Ok, not completely over.
Update 6/27/12
In the store the other day, I'm telling you guys, it's the law, I saw the new mold of the Hulk for the comic Avengers pack in the Marvel Universe line. The mold is a vast improvement over the previous one. Care to guess what was missing?
Now, Rant Over...for now
Just sharing
12 years ago
