Monday, September 26, 2011

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together...

Well, "don't ask, don't tell" has been repealed and all those doomsayers that thought that those "damn queers" had no place in the military have been proven correct. As most of you know the ban on homosexuals in the US military was lifted as of the twentieth of September. I hope somehow, our country can survive our naive mistaken belief that homosexuals were just people like everyone else.

Since our fateful mistake, homosexuality in the military has risen an alarming five billion percent. This is largely attributable to the "gay radiation" that openly homosexual people are known to emit. There has been an alarming rise in the sale of pink camo fatigues due to now openly gay soldiers refusing to wear regular fatigues because "They are so last year. I mean, heloooo!". During combat there has been a significant rise in soldiers refusing to to fire on the more attractive members of the enemy. One soldier was quoted as saying: "I am sorry sir but I cannot fire on that man. He is gorgeous!" There has also been a dramatic rise in both turtle fucking and drive by makeovers the gay rays seep into the surrounding populous.

Despite all this, homosexuality between attractive females is still considered "hot".

Hey, wait a minute. None of that happened at all, except for maybe the lesbianism thing. Huh, go figure.

Some people have predicted that there will be a backlash against openly homosexual solders. In this I have to agree with them. I think there will be a lot of homosexual soldiers being on the receiving end of beatings. I imagine there will be an increase in the number of "friendly fire" instances. And I am almost sure we will see a good many deserving folks passed over for promotion for no apparent reason.

Despite all this, I still think lifting the band was the right thing to do. Change is difficult and there is always a price to be paid. When the change is of something that has been around for a very very long time, the price is even higher. Despite the initial cost of this particular change, I think this will, in time, make our military and country itself stronger. The people who say that the cost is too high and should not happen because of the danger to others need only set their wayback machines to when the armed forces were first integrated and the hardships involved in that. Was the cost too high then? Some people say that yes, the cost was too high and it never should have happened. Those people should not breed.

There has been some whining by Christians chaplain that now they will not be able to do their jobs as they will now have to censor themselves. Why? Because Christianity says that homosexuality is wrong? As a religion, chaplains will still be able to spout off their bigoted rhetoric as they have before. Organized religion has never had much of a problem getting across a message of intolerance.

There will be a great many growing pains but, in the end (insert joke here) history will prove that it was the right thing to do... as long as we watch out for those "gay rays"



Rant over... For now

Monday, August 15, 2011

"Decent Script, Decent Scriiiiipt!" Shamble, Shamble

So, all those out there that have read the book "World War Z" by Max Brooks raise your hands. Ok, those of you with your hand raised, take that hand and pat yourself on the back for having excellent taste in literature.

"World War Z", one of my favorite books ever is being turned into a movie!

For those of you who don't know the book (for shame) the theme of the book is a collection of interviews collected from all over the world 10 years after the end of the zombie war in which the world had been overrun with zombies (its only a matter of time, folks) and subsequently taken back by the humans that survived. Now I realize that a book that is a collection of interviews may not sound like much but Brooks manages to weave the interviews into a cohesive storyline. Go Max!

There was an "audio book" made of it that was excellent. I use quotes around audio book because that is not really a fair description. It would be more accurate to call it an audio play but good luck finding "audio play" when you head down to your local book store to pick it up. One of the things that makes this play so great is the phenomenal acting by the cast which includes voice acting great Mark Hamill. Yes, I know he was Luke Skywalker but, while I absolutely loved the original Star Wars movies, he really came into his own with voice acting. Other performers include Alan Alda, Rob Reiner, Carl Reiner, Henry Rollins, John Turturro and others all turning in top flight performances. Unfortunately all the interviews in the book don't make it into the play but it is still a great one.

Ok, so now you know the storyline of the book. Let's have a littl look at what the storyline of the movie will be. This is the official synopsis from Paramount:

"The story revolves around United Nations employee Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt), who traverses the world in a race against time to stop the Zombie pandemic that is toppling armies and governments and threatening to decimate humanity itself. Mireille Enos plays Gerry’s wife Karen Lane; Andre Kertesz is his comrade in arms, Segen."

Now, does that sound like the same story? To be fair, the two storylines to cave a couple of things in common: Um... Well... They both have people and zombies.

This isn't just a case of a fan of a book nitpicking a movie based on it. This is a case of one story having nothing to do with each other except the title! It is like licensing the movie rights to Harry Potter and making a movie about a little girl who travels around the world granting the wishes of bread mold and pulling magic joo joo bees out of her left nostril. Insistently, if there are any Hollywood big wigs out there reading this I am available to write that screenplay.

I know changes are made to the original story in movies all the time due to the restrictions of film or even just to make the story new for people who are familiar with the story but there is at least something of the original story in there somewhere! One of my favorite TV shows "The Walking Dead" diverged quite a bit from the comic it is based on. The key difference is that, despite being different, it is still true to the source material.

I guess there is something that truly upsets me, as a writer, about taking the product of someone's hard work and imagination grabbing the title and tossing everything else. Why should it upset me when Max Brooks is fne with it? Well for one, we don't know what his feelings on the changes are, no statement has been issued. Even if he is ok with it I still feel it is kind of a giant "Up Yours!" to the fans who are excided to see a story that they enjoy up on the silver screen.

The movie isn't set to be released until December 21, 2012 and many things can happen between now and then so there is hope. Incidentally December 21, 2012 is the date of the end of the world according to the Mayan calender ad least according to popular belief. Cute, Paramount, glad you did something right.

The one of the truely sad things about all this is that the synopsis sounds like it might be a pretty good movie were it allowed to stand on its own. Maybe they will change the title and then make a real World War Z movie. I won't be holding my breath for that one though.



Rant Over... For now

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Fabulous! Now I am Going to Miss Halloween!

The world will end on May 21 2011! Wait, wait, wait. I totally meant October, 21 2011. Sorry, my bad.

Originally the word from on high, or low, depending on your take of the whole "end of the world" thing was that the rapture would occur on May 21 and the whole Armageddon thing would last until October 21. Now, according to Harold Camping, the guy who was making the prediction in the first place, the rapture and the end of the world will occur simultaneously and bypass that whole pesky Armageddon thing.

This is either good news or bad news. It is good news for those of us who were hoping to cut out the middle man and bad news for those who were on the fence and were hopping for some time to repent should the rapture actually happen. Here again we have an example of god being gracious and loving, or a complete dick.

I am, generally speaking not a big fan of organized religion (I know, it is shocking to find that out about me, huh?)and things like this are why. It doesn't bother me that people believe god will smite the world, hell, I firmly believe that a zombie apocalypse will occur any day now (ready your ZCP!)but things like this some people take as permission to behave like an ass.

Consider this:
"My mom has told me directly that I’m not going to get into heaven,’’ said Grace Haddad, 16. “At first it was really upsetting, but it’s what she honestly believes."

Gotta love mom there, huh? Now, admittedly, I don't have kids, but isn't just a teeny bit cold to tell your kid, in all seriousness that they are going to hell?

I also find it disturbing that the kid is okay with it because "it’s what she honestly believes." If I honestly believed punching random strangers in the naughty bits would make large sacks of gummy worms appear in my kitchen, that doesn't give me permission to start swinging away. It sounds as if maybe a bit of the crazy may be starting to seep on down the bloodline. Here's hoping they find a good therapist before they become little batshit copies of their parents!

The Haddad family, I would imagine, is now in a bit of a pickle. She quit her job, they stopped working on the house and stopped saving for the kids college. Now that May has passed, they are gonna have to find a way to skate by for the next five months. I hope their savings were considerable. Now, the article doesn't say whether or not the father works, just that she quit her job to travel about with him to spread the work so, presumably, he is out of work too. Here is another little bit of trouble that the family might have now that the date has been pushed back: Travelling costs money. When I said their savings had better be considerable, I take it back, the family had better be monstrously wealthy.

Another disconcerting thing about this particular family story is that the job she quit, was being a nurse. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but doesn't any job in medicine have more to do with science rather than beating someone over the head with a bible. I can just imagine this scenario:

"Well, Mr Smith, the good news is that your heart surgery went flawlessly, a complete success! The bad news is that you will soon be burning in everlasting torment. Enjoy your jello!"

Here is another heart warming quote:

“I don’t really have any motivation to try to figure out what I want to do," said Joseph Haddad, 14, “because my main support line, my parents, don’t care."

I got all misty on that one. You can truly feel the love. If this is indicative of the kind of folks one would have to live with in heaven, save me a place by the fire. An old friend of mine, when asked if he wants to go to heaven replied brilliantly: "That depends. Are you going to be there?".

I am sure there will be many many stories like this one between now and October, and probably after. Let's hope they are few and far between.

One last thing from the Haddad family:

The children, however, have found something to giggle over.

“She’ll say, ‘You need to clean up your room,’ " Grace said. “And I’ll say, ‘Mom, it doesn’t matter, if the world’s going to end!'"

You gotta love that!

The original article can be found here:
http://articles.boston.com/2011-05-20/news/29565433_1_prophecy-judgment-day-nonbelievers




Rant Over...for now

Saturday, May 21, 2011

It's The End of the World as We... Wait, What?

Well it is now Saturday 5/21/11 1:28pm. Do you know where your apocalypse is? If you are still reading this from an earthly computer that is because god thinks you are a dick and were not lifted up to heaven during the rapture. Welcome to my world.

Looking around outside I am not at all surprised that hell on Earth looks a lot like Vegas.

As of this point, the content of the "The End Is Nigh!" pages have not changed. Maybe they are waiting until midnight just to be sure.

This is just a quickie (was it good for you?) but you can bet that I will be posting more on this topic in very short order. I will be posting, that is, of course, assuming that I have not been wrong and the entire world bursts into flame at midnight.

In the mean time, feel free to point and laugh at all those who whole-heartedly believed that they were going to be drawn up in the rapture but made no effort to donate everything they had to the poor unfortunates who would be left behind. Isn't giving to those less fortunate the "Christian" thing to do? Apparently not.

I'll Be Back... You Have Been Warned!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Hey! Nice Underwear!

Sagging pants that expose the underwear, this has got to be one of the stupider fashion trends in recent memory. Not as bad as bell bottoms but it is certainly within kissing distance. I mean, past a certain point you are no longer wearing pants, you are wearing thigh-highs. While I am a big fan of thigh-highs, they really don't do it for me when worn by underage boys with a perma-scowl etched on their faces. If you are gonna wear your pants down around your knees, just loose the pants. You don't look tough, you look ridiculous.

Now, as bad as normal jeans down around the knees are, there is an even more insidious fashion cancer growing in the world. For quite some time there has been a trend of adolescent boys wearing jeans so tight that just looking at them makes my balls hurt. This was bad enough but they have also added the sagging thing. If you are wearing pants so tight I can tell what religion you are from across the room, I don't need you dropping your drawers to confirm the point.

I am a big supporter of the concept of a clothing optional society but this isn't really the way to go about it. If you don't want to wear pants, don't. As long as you are still wearing underwear you are still not considered "indecently exposed", quite possibly one of the stupidest laws ever composed by mankind.

The thing that really bothers me about this is not the exposure, its the whole attitude that seems to go with it. There is an incredible amount of hostility that seems to come along with this "fashion". I find it interesting that a guy who has to hold his pants up with one hand to even walk glares at me like I just question the legitimacy of his parentage. You shouldn't be pissed at me, you should be pissed that you can't find a working belt.

Now, one might suggest that the glare is due to the fact that I am staring at them. Let's say, for the sake of argument that I am staring. I am not, but lets just say that I am. So what if I am? Staring is the natural response when seeing something unusual. If a guy rolls out on a unicycle wearing fishnet stockings, juggling flaming hamsters and sporting a three foot day-glow orange mohawk, I am going to look. Hell, if that happened I might even toss a few buck in the hat for him. The point is, if you don't want people to look, wear something that blends in. Granted, if this trend continues those of us who know how to work a belt will be the ones being stared at.

As I said, the attitude that goes with this fashion is what really irritates me. Sorry, chuckles, showing me your underpants doesn't make you tough. Not even a little bit.

There are two stories I have heard to explain the origin of this look, both of which say it originates in prison.

The first, is the one I am really hoping is true because if it is, it really puts a bit of a hilarious spin on the whole tough-guy attitude thing. In this story, the look was one used by guys in prison advertising that they wanted to be someone's bitch. The hilarity jumps up a few more notches when you consider the homophobia that is so prevalent in the intercity black culture where this look seemed to first gain a foot hold.

The second one is a bit more likely but much less funny. The story goes that the inmate uniforms in the LA county prison system were usually too large due to there not being the funding to give every inmate one that actually fit. All the belts, shoelaces and what have you were confiscated to prevent suicide and to prevent them from being used as a weapon. As a result, the inmates had to hold their too-large pants up with one hand for fear of the first story becoming swiftly and violently true.

Even if the second story is the true one, those that choose this look are still emulating failure! Everyone who has ever been or ever will be in prison, rightly or wrongly, is there because they failed in some way. Now they may have simply failed to prove their innocence in a corrupt court system that gives only lip service to the concept of "innocent until proven guilty" or they got caught committing a crime, it is still failure. There is just no way around that.

Here's hoping this stupid trend will die off soon. Hey, bell bottoms and the leisure suit died off too, so there is always hope.

Well, that is my grumpy old man post for the day.

And stay the hell off my damn lawn!


Rant Over... for now

Monday, May 16, 2011

Its a Party! Who Brought the Chips?

The end of the world will apparently occur on May 21, 2011. This according to a site called familyradio.com. For those of you keeping count, you have five days to hug your ankles and kiss your ass goodbye.

How do they know this? Well:

"That is why He has given us in advance of the destruction the exact time of the Day of Judgment. The Bible tells us in Amos 3:7:


Surely the Lord GOD will do nothing, but He revealeth his secret unto His servants the prophets."


Wait. Did I miss a date or something in that passage? To be fair, later in the page they do present an equation that proves, PROVES I say, that the world will end on 5/21/11. That is to say, it proves it if you interpret the bible in a certain way.

I love this one:

"In its original languages (mostly Hebrew and Greek) it has never been changed, and each and every word in the original languages is from the mouth of God."

Paging King James!

Now that we know that the bible has never been changed and is 100% accurate, we have to wonder why it refers to the messiah as Jesus Christ. "Jesus" we know is a corruption of the Greek which is a corruption of the Hebrew name "Joshua" pronounced "Yeshua". That's an awful lot of corruption for a book that has never been changed and is completely accurate!

"The people of the earth, which we call mankind, were created to rule over this earth. God gave laws by which we can live as happily and wisely as possible. He warns, however, that the breaking of those laws is sin, and sin will bring punishment from God. The Bible declares in Romans 6:23: For the wages of sin is death…."

Can't you just feel the love?

"By careful study of the Bible we learn that in the year 4990 B.C. (Before Christ) God brought a flood of water and destroyed the entire earth except for eight people and the animals that were with them."

Again with the love. Now maybe its just me but isn't 8 just a little small for a viable gene pool? If somehow a pool of 8 people end up producing a world population of roughly 6 billion people there must have been some serious inbreeding going on. Now that I think about it, that much inbreeding would kind of explain a lot of bonehead moves humans tend to make. Moving on.

"The ark that Noah had built was the only place of safety from the destruction of the Flood."

Apparently there was a rash of termites that ate holes in all the other boats.


"We learn from the Bible that Holy God plans to rescue about 200 million people (that is about 3% of today’s population)."

Ok, if you are one of the 200 million that are taken up to heaven, I call dibs on your stuff!

For those of you who want to see where all these quotes come from, you can find them at: http://www.familyradio.com/graphical/literature/judgment/judgment.html

I am really anxious to see what their website will say on May 22nd. Unless, of course, they are right and the world has ended the day before. If it does, the Mayans are gonna be super pissed!



Rant Over... for now

Friday, May 6, 2011

In the Army Now...

The other day I was having a discussion with a few friends. Stop laughing, I have friends! The topic of discussion was gays in the military. Two of these individuals were former military themselves. One of them said that while he would have no problems serving in an open military there were certain positions that he would have a problem having homosexuals serve in. I asked him to elaborate and he mentioned a "flamer" in a command position. In this point I agreed with him but that was more a case of a personality ill-suited to a particular job. A flamer would indeed, in my estimation, be a poor choice for command but not all gays set off sprinkler systems. Personality is a different issue entirely than who one finds physically attractive.

A point brought up was by another gentleman was the practical concern of the hetero soldier on the ground's reaction to an openly gay soldier. He said that there would many possible instances of personal backlash against the gay soldier up to and including instances of "friendly fire". While I acknowledge that in many instances that could very well be the case, is that a reason to keep gays out of the military? There are many bigots in every part of society. Many people would like nothing more that to see their own personal prejudices reinforced by official policy. Is the fact that a bigoted individual will behave in a violent way when confronted with the object of his bigotry a good reason to condone the behavior? I submit to you that it is not. There was negative and often violent reaction to the integration of black soldiers into the military. Does that mean it should never have happened? Radical changes made to any social system are always messy and often bloody. That does not mean it should happen. There are military statutes that protect military personnel from being attacked by one another just like there is in the civilian world. A soldier attacking a soldier, in most cases, is a crime and is punished as one. The point was made that these statutes would be "selectively" enforced. I can not argue with that. How many black soldiers were brutally attacked with impunity during integration? Does that mean it shouldn't have happen? Sadly, a great deal of the "old guard" had to "die out" for the change to take root. And the same would most likely have to take place in this instance.

I am not now nor have I ever been in the military. This is a fact that is usually used by current and former members of the military to discount my opinion as being completely invalid. This is arrogance on a rather impressive level and is completely ridiculous. It would be on par with my pointing out that I am a writer and since someone else isn't his or her opinions on literature are completely invalid. This would be viewed, quite correctly, as a ridiculous idea. It is quite possible for a non-writer to studies literature and the various aspects of its creation and possess well thought out and valid opinions on the subject. Guess what, the same thing is true for the military and any other subject. We all have minds that allow us to logically form opinions on any subject. The out of hand rejection of another point of view simply because it comes from a different set of experiences than yours is false logic at best. Sometime a fresh pair of eyes can be a very helpful thing.

Another excellent point that was made was that was made was that when one enlists in the military they sign a contract that includes the wording banning homosexuality and so breaking the contract by declaring one's homosexuality they should rightly be incarcerated for this breach. I would agree with this statement if it were not federal law that a contract that requires one to commit an illegal act is non-binding. The sanctioned discrimination against a citizen of the United States clearly violates the fourteenth amendment and is, therefore, illegal. Don't forget, military personnel also pledge to defend the constitution. There is a reason "I was just following orders" is not a valid defense. If you signed a contract with me to kill my wife and then did not fulfill the contract, I could not then sue you for breech of contract. Despite the ridiculousness of that example, the principle holds true.

The practical result of all this is, as correctly pointed out by the gentleman, is that one would find themselves sitting in federal prison until the supreme court agree to hear the case. Given the stacked deck that is our current Supreme Court and our government's love affair with ignoring civil rights and locking people away without even the pretense of due process, the prospects of policy being changed in this way are dim indeed.

When you strip away pandering to the bigotry of others, I still have yet to hear even one logical reason why homosexuals are unfit for military service.



Rant Over...for now

And We All Know Who Should Get the Credit for this One, Right,,,, um, Right?

Well as we all know Bin Laden is no longer using up our valuable oxygen. Now, as when most things of note happen it is time to play the blame/credit game. I have heard from some that: "Obama got Bin Laden" and from others: "they wouldn't have gotten him if it wasn't for Bush". Both of these statements are stupid and prove that terrorists are not the only ones who waste our oxygen. The one who should get the credit for the kill is the one who took the shot and those in his/her immediate support ring, you know the ones who were directly involved, not some politicians thousands of miles away who haven't been involved in in even one operation in this clusterfuck we call a war and the closest they have gotten to the desert was knocking their ball into a sand trap on a golf course more expensive than the average American could afford in ten years of saving.

So, now he is dead. Now what? In all likelihood, now nothing. Hunting Bin Laden has not been an even remotely plausible excuse for the war for a very long time. In the intervening years we have come up with many others, all equally ridiculous, that we can lean on now. The only reason the war will end any time soon is if there is suddenly no more money in it. I would say that it wont stand up until the American people stand up and demand it. However, considering how easily the government has gotten us to roll over and hand over any freedom they ask for I think it is more likely that it will cease to be profitable long before we as a people stand up and demand that it end.

In the intervening years since Bin Laden made it to the top of the charts we have: Attacked a sovereign nation without provocation using a flimsy and ultimately proven false connection to the September 11th attacks, we have passed and renewed the Patriot Act, a document that severely curtails the civil liberties of American citizens, We have kept prisoners locked up without due process (in fact, distroying some aspects of due process. Anyone else miss habeas corpus?) and without charge, we have legitimized the use of torture in interrogations as well as just for shits and giggles (Abu Ghraib, anyone), Misused our service men and women and ignored them when they returned, given millions of dollars worth of no-bid contracts to political cronies, covered up crimes committed by said political cronies, Made it more difficult to board a plane than to buy a gun and allowed Michael Bay to make three craptacular Transformers films. That last one has nothing to do with the war, it just pisses me off.

So all those things have transpired and we finally killed one skinny, repressed, angry little goat herder. Looks like we one this one!

Don't get me wrong, Bin Laden was scum but when it comes down to whose goals were achieved most effectively, I think he was one or two up on us.

I truly hope that this help end war and bring our troops home, but I wouldn't count on it.


Rant Over... for now

Monday, December 20, 2010

Thor: God of Thunder, White, Australian!

There is a group out there who are somewhat unthrilled with the casting choices made in the upcoming Thor movie. Oddly enough they are not perturbed by an Australian Thor of a British Odin. No their argument is against a black man playing the uber-popular Norse god who is everyone's favorite and is the REAL star of the show: Heimdall! Wait... Who?

For those of you who are unaware of who this god, don't feel too bad. Despite his important roll in Ragnarok, he is not a well-known god. Heimdall is the guardian of the bifrost bridge, the rainbow bridge that connects Midgard (Earth) to Asgard (Asgard). He will be the one to sound the horn signaling the beginning of Ragnarok making him possibly one of the worst early warning systems in history. He is also of note due to his being the last god to die during Ragnarok as he and Loki kill each other. Damn, I probably should have put a "spoiler" warning there, huh? I hope I didn't ruin the end of the world for you there.

Now you know...

So anyway this group, The Council of Conservative Citizens, is all upset that a black actor,Idris Elba, will be playing the roll of everyone's favorite god, Heimdall. Thier position being that since the character is a Norse god, he should be played by a white man presumably to ensure the integrity of the part. They see the casting of a black man, British no less, as some sort of assault on conservative values and white people in general.

In their own words:

Marvel Studios declares war on Norse mythology.

"Norse mythology gets a multi-cultural remake in the upcoming movie titled “Thor,” by Marvel studios. It’s not enough that Marvel attacks conservative values and promotes the left-wing, now mythological Gods must be re-invented with black skin.

It seems that Marvel Studios believes that white people should have nothing that is unique to themselves. An upcoming movie, based on the comic book Thor, will give Norse mythology an insulting multi-cultural make-over. One of the Gods will be played by Hip Hop DJ Idris Elba."

Oooookay. Really, guys? War? Last time I checked "war" was a huge, horrible, bloody affair where many people were killed. It always irritates me how our culture throws around that term. War on crime, war on drugs, war on poverty and don't even get me started on the war on terror. The word has less and less impact every time we misuse it. The only way this casting could possibly be considered an act of war would be if they loaded Elba into a cannon and fired him into a large group of people. Although, I have to admit, if they actually did, I would be one of the sick bastards who would have to watch that... repeatedly.

They are upset that, even though all the Nordic gods where white, they cast a black man. Ok, they have a point. The Nordic gods were, in fact, white, just are the gods from African mythology were black. Both of these facts are due to the color of the people who utilized the mythology.

So, it seems that they want historical accuracy. Ok, fine, lets shoot for accuracy shall we? Seeing as how the gods were Nordic, they probably shouldn't be speaking English either, huh? So, now we have white folks speaking in Nordic languages. We should be completely accurate then, right? Wrong! Let us not forget that the Nordic gods were, um, ya know, gods! That right there rules out any chance of hiring human actors. So the question is: Did Marvel even offer any parts to deities? The answer to that my friends is a resounding "NO"! For shame, Marvel, for shame. Did you even try? Although I do understand that there would be problems with casting deities. Would Yahweh be available for a long shooting schedule? Does Apollo really need two trailers? Will Vishnu work for scale? Even if that was viable, wouldn't it piss off the actual Nordic gods?

The CCC seems to regard this casting as Marvel's attempt at social engineering. Again, my response would be "huh?" While I firmly believe that movies and other fiction can play a part in shaping the landscape of the social world, they, for the most part, follow the landscape that is already there. At least that is the case with most mainstream fiction. As much as it pains me to say it, Marvel just isn't that powerful.

As a conservative group, you would think that they would be more upset when Marvel had one of it's most popular characters, Spider-Man, make a deal with the devil, or Marvel's devil-like character. I found this move by Marvel thoroughly offensive, not because it was blasphemous or anything like that but more due to the fact that it was stupid and poor storytelling.

You would think that a group like this would want to focus more on actual racism against white folks than waste their time on (forgive me Marvel) fluff. Is their racism against white people? Of course there is. Everyone on the planet of any race, assuming they have ever been in a mixed group of more than six people, has experienced racism.

Will this movie be awesome? I hope so. Will it be the thing that triggers a global genocide in which all members of our species with a relatively low amount of melanin in their skin, will be dragged from there homes. put up against walls and shot? Probably not.

Finally, I have to admit that I find it hilarious that Heimdell is refereed to in mythology as the "White God".


Rant Over... For Now

Note: I would like to thank The website toplessrobot.com for making me aware of this story through no fault of their own. Thanks again, Guys.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Well, Of Course, That Makes Perfect Sense... Oh, Wait

I was walking through a parking lot the other day when I passed a car with a bumper sticker on it. It was a white back ground with bright red letters on it which said: "PRO-LIFE, God's only choice!" I had to back up and make sure I read that correctly. Sadly, I did.

"PRO-LIFE: God's only choice" Now, maybe it's just me, but I fail to see the logic in this statement. If this statement were true and god's only choice was pro-life, one has to wonder: Why does he keep killing everything? Everything that has ever been alive dies, every thing that is alive will die. Flora and fauna both, everything eventually shuffles off this mortal coil. So where does the pro-life bit come in?

Now some might say: "Well, that sticker only refers to the abortion issue. God want's unborn babies to live."

Again the question is: why does he keep killing them? That's right friends and neighbors, god kills babies too! Still-birth anyone? How about S.I.D.S.? What about the myriad other things that kill babies everyday? Everything from car accidents to infanticide, babies die just like the rest of us. Now you might say that the sticker was only referring to unborn babies. Okay, fine, explain miscarriages to me.

Some might answer that things like that are simply "God's will" and he works in mysterious ways that we can't possible understand. Well, that is a wee bit convenient isn't it? Although, it does prove my point. If all those things are "God's will" then it seems that god's will is to kill babies. If you want to go with the idea that god works in mysterious ways that we can't possibly understand, isn't it possible that god is working through the doctors that perform these abortions? After all, if you believe the statement printed on the bumper sticker, chances are you also believe that god created the doctors as well. Couldn't god be working the plan through these doctors that he created?

"God doesn't work that way." these people usually say. Wait, didn't you just say that human's couldn't possibly understand? If you claim to know absolutely what god would or would not do, aren't you claiming to know the mind of god and thereby, his divine plan? I thought we were incapable of doing that.

As George Carlin pointed out, these people who are pro-life would think nothing of getting chemo therapy if they one day developed cancer. Tumors, strictly speaking, are alive. There is the argument that the tumor is a part of the body and the body survives so it is not really killing. Okay, how about bugs? Ever kill one of those? Ever cut down a tree? Eat a steak? Write on paper using a pencil? All these things involve the killing of life in one form or another.

Isn't it lovely how we get to pick and choose what is and isn't immoral depending on what's convenient for us?


Rant Over....for now

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Sherman, set the WABAC Machine to December 27, 2008!

Looking back through my posts I came across one from deep in the mists of time. It was one regarding the concept of reparations for the descendants of former slaves. Here is the original post:

http://whiskeytangofoxtrotblues.blogspot.com/2008/12/all-former-slaves-raise-your-hand.html

A comment was left by a gentleman named James and I felt that it deserved a response, albeit an extraordinarily belated one. Here is James' comment followed by my response:

"(a quote from the original post) Show me, in a calm, logical manner how the argument for reparations is sound."

How's this:

The descendants of American slaves are, today, substantially disadvantaged--in both tangible and intangible ways--because of the legacy of slavery.

Meanwhile, all Americans today enjoy substantial benefits from our history of slavery.

Ergo, reparations for slavery, in the sense of trying to address this manifest injustice, make good sense.

I've tried to make very simple, but entirely true, statements here. I can certainly elaborate if you question any of the facts I've referred to.

I'm not an advocate of reparations, at least in the crude form of cash payments to the descendants of slaves. I do think, though, that there's a strong argument here for addressing the legacy of slavery.

"(a quote from the original post)there is a big difference between the two. Namely, some of the victims of the Japanese internment camps were still alive when the payout was made!"

Some of the victims were still alive, but that's not a big difference between the two cases.

Why? Because payments were also made to the descendants of these victims, in cases where the victims themselves were already dead. So that's a strong precedent in favor of slavery reparations, or at least for not rejecting them on the grounds that the original victims are dead.

"(a quote from the original post)we, logically, must accept the flip side of that argument: If someone in someone's family tree was a criminal, then they should be punished for their crime."

Except that slavery reparations aren't punishment. We all agree, presumably, that punishing people for the crimes of others is morally wrong.

However, compensating people for what was done to their ancestors is a principle that's widely accepted. Your post cites the example of reparations to the descendants of U.S. WWII concentration camps. And I think the general principle is accepted by many people: that if something is taken wrongly from one family, those who inherit the ill-gotten gains may need to return them to the family that should have them.



And now, my response:

First of all, let me apologize for responding to this comment a few years late. Second I would like to thank you for your comment, James. I think I grasp what you are saying but I must respectfully disagree.

First I must disagree that in this day and age the descendants of former slaves are substantially disadvantaged. There are many laws in place to make sure that discrimination does not occur. Are these laws and the system that enforce them perfect? Of course not, but the discrimination sword cuts both ways. At some point in most people's lives, they have been discriminated against no matter what their color or ethnicity.

You say that Americans today enjoy the benefits from our history of slavery. Okay, I can accept that. But don't the people that would receive reparations enjoy the same benefits? Are they not Americans as well?

You make the point that payments were made to the families of the victims of the internment camps. I admit that was a gaff on my part.
However, I believe that the point still stands. Only those who suffered incarceration should have received the payments. As far as sighting this as a precedent for reparations keep in mind that if you look hard enough and broaden your search, you will find a precedent for almost everything. Keep in mind though, a precedent does not make something right. For instance, there is a precedent for slavery itself, does that mean slavery was the right thing to do? Let's look at little more recent history. There is a precedent for imprisoning people indefinitely with out charging them with a crime and denying them representation. Does that make it the right thing to do? I would argue that it does not.

I must respectfully disagree with you on the notion that reparation payments are not a punishment. I believe they are. If a crime was committed against me by someone else I can take them to civil court and be awarded punitive damages as a means of punishing the guilty party. Punitive damaged are awarded above and beyond the actual damages I suffered. I believe the same thing would apply to reparations. Individuals who incurred no damages, I.E. were never slaves, would be awarded a payment over and above the actual damages that they actually incurred, I.E. none. Sighting discrimination as a direct result of slavery, i believe is a false argument. In order to prove that slavery is the sole cause of discrimination. I don't believe that is the case. If it were, no one but the descendants of former slaves would ever experience discrimination. That is clearly not the case.

I feel that the argument that they descendants of slavery were harmed by it is a false one. The sad fact it that it is human nature for any group to elevate itself by belittling and, indeed, persecuting another another. We see it again and again throughout history. The obvious, and one of the most extreme cases of this to occur during the last century, was the Nazi's treatment of Jews, homosexual and gypsies during the second World War. This is just one extreme example, there are many many others. The marginalization of the Irish, Italian, Jews and, yes, Black people in this country. It even extends down to one baseball team belittling another. The only difference is one of degree.

I am descended from those who were kept in ghettos and were ultimately imprisoned and murdered. Am I suffering due to the wrong done to my ancestors? I would argue that I am not, and that occurred during the last century. Does that wrong affect me today? Of course it does. Would I say that I am a victim of the atrocities committed against my ancestors? Of course not.

I realize that this was not the point that you were trying to make but I must say that, in my opinion, counting myself as a victim would belittle what they went through. As I say, I realize that was not your intent, it is just my opinion, no more, no less.

Just as a matter of clarification, I never referred to the camps set up in the United States during WWII as "concentration camps". They were not. As horrible and criminal as they were, they did not rise to the level, or, more accurately, sink to the depths of concentration camps. Places like Dachau and Auschwitz were concentration camps.

I would point out that the fact that something is widely accepted does not mean that it is correct. Many flawed and outright wrong concepts throughout history were widely accepted. I would argue that the acceptance or lack thereof is not proof of the correctness of an idea. The idea that acceptance equals proof is an error in logic.

Another problem is one of logistics. How would we decide who get's the payments? The records that were kept during that time were spotty at best when taken as a whole. Do we simply pay out to everyone who is black? What about the mixed race descendants? Should they receive only half payments? What of those Black decedents that do not hale from traceable lineages? Do they get nothing or do we pay out just to be on the safe side?

Finally, another problem I find with your argument is one of time. how do we decide who gets what from whom? For instance, you seem to believe that the descendants of slaves should receive reparations of some sort. Okay, fine, but what of the others who have suffered under governmental oppression? Should the Native Americans receive reparations? Should they receive them from the British or our government or both? What of the people persecuted during the Crusades or the Spanish Inquisition during which the Church was the de facto governing body. Should the Church pay reparations to their descendants? Was their suffering lesser than the victims of slavery in America? What of the many other instances of slavery being sanctioned by the governing body? Should they receive reparations as well? And how about the atrocities carried out by the German government during WWII? Where do we draw the line and say: "your ancestors didn't suffer enough to receive reparations." You may think this is a ridiculous extreme to take this argument to but keep in mind, your argument addresses the issue of reparations to the ancestors of the victims, there for, time would not be an issue. Lets look at it from another angle and say that reparations are payed to the descendants. Would reparations then need to be payed to their children and then their children's children and so on? They would still be descendants, wouldn't they? Their suffering would still exist, wouldn't it? Now you may say that the family has already been paid, but what if the reparation funds paid out are, say, lost on the stock market. The decedents that follow would receive no benefit from the pay out yet any suffering that the parent endured would be endured by the descendant so wouldn't they be entitled reparations for their suffering as well?

As I said in my original posting, this is a red herring, smoke and mirrors that distract us from our more pressing immediate problems, of which there are many.

It boils down to this: The odds that I will change your opinion are slim at best as are the odds that you will change mine. While I would encourage discussion on this subject, ultimately this will be an issue that we will most likely have to agree to disagree on.

Again I thank you very much for your input and apologize for taking such a ridiculously long time to respond.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

You Equal Treatment?!?! What the Hell is Wrong with You!

Some time ago there was a school in rural Mississippi that, rather than allow a lesbian couple to attend their prom. It is so nice to see good old fashion values still mean something and we, as a people, can extend the hand of tolerance to all people. Oh, wait! That isn't what happened here at all. Instead bigotry won the day! Now, this makes me especially proud for two reasons: not only did this happen in my home state, it happened in a town that I went to college in!

One of the things that gets me about this one is not the unapologetic bigotry, it is the not so subtle psychology at work here.

Everyone who remembers high school, raise your hand. Ok, everyone who blocked out high school, raise your hand. We all know that high school is one of the most socially difficult places on earth, unless, of course you were one of the popular kids. Even then there is the pressure of having to find ways to remain popular. Add to that "normal" pressure the unbridled joy of the student body being pissed at you for causeing the entire prom to be scrapped. Now that is class.

Although, the school did have another reason, that rallying cry of morons the world over: "For the Children!"

How does that come into play here you may ask? Simple we must prevent the children from catching "the gay". Now I know some of you might be saying that that is ridiculous. That's just what they want you to think. It is a little known and less spoken about fact that homosexuals emit a low level radiation that corrupts the biology of nearby heterosexuals. Now normally, with a single homosexual, the human body can fight off the effects. But add another homosexual to the mix, especially if they are having sex on a regular basis, and the body's defenses can become overwhelmed. Add to that a large number of people in a confined space and you have a recipe for a massive outbreak of "the gay". Think of the horror of the outbreak of tolerance that might follow! Think of it, people walking around feeling comfortable with themselves and feeling free to express their feelings in an open and honest way! *shutter* We just cannot have that! Back in the closet, you!

How did this young lady deal with this? Welcome to America, land of the litigious! She sued, of course. And what's better, she won:

"U.S. District Judge Glen H. Davidson refused to make school officials hold the prom, but he said in a March 23 ruling that the district had violated McMillen's rights."

Ok, boo on the prom thing but yay on the upholding civil rights! The greatest part of all this is that the school that basically said that she was such a bad person that they had to cancel the prom for everybody, is now sending her to college. She stated that she intends to use the $35,000 she received from the case for college tuition!

Ya gotta love that!

For those who want it, here is the link to one of the stories written about this: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100720/ap_on_re_us/us_lesbian_prom_date

Rant Over... for now


On an unrelated note, can someone send me a copy of "The Gay Agenda"? I have been looking for a copy of this thing the pundits have been yammering about for years. For some reason the bookstores have stopped taking my calls.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Aaaaaand... We're off!

Welcome to the reboot of this fine (meh) blog! To those of you just tuning in: Welcome! I have relaunched this blog in the grand and traditional manner of smashing a bottle of champagne across her bow... or randomly spilling a glass of wine on my keyboard, one of the two.

Either way, I hope you enjoy and I look forward to hearing from you. Cheers!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

We'll just file that under: "Duh!" then, shall we?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


This morning I turned on my television set in the hopes perhaps viewing Barack Obama being sworn in as our forty-fourth president. After about an hour, the only swearing was coming from me and was directed at the "news" commentators.

Did you know that Barack Obama was a black man? If you attempted watch the inauguration, you did. You knew this fact because the commentators told you about it at least once every five minutes.

I have seen the television at some point during the last year. I have read a news article within the last year. I have driven down a residential street. I voted for the man! I am aware that he is black. I don't need you to tell me that every damn minute! Tell me something useful like what his foreign policy will be or what his domestic policy will be. Don’t waist valuable air time telling me something that I can ascertain in a fraction of a second by looking in the guy's general direction.

There are only two groups of people that seem to give a rat's ass how much melanin our new president has in his skin: Commentators and Racists.

If you didn't vote for Obama because he was black, you have committed a racist act.

If you DID vote for Obama because he is black, you have ALSO committed a racist act.

If race is what guides you in any way at all, you are a racist.

Race is a FALSE distinction anyway. When most people say race, what they mean is ethnicity. Either way, it is and should be a non-issue. You know, another way to distract us and keep us from taking a critical look at ourselves and the world around us.

Now, of course, these commentators didn't use the word "black". They used the grossly inaccurate term "African American". Now, granted with his Kenyan father and time spent there President Obama is much closer to being an "African-American" than most of the people the media and other morons like to slap that label on, he his still NOT an African-American. He is an American. If you really wanted to get technical, he is an American who is a Negro. For those of you who balk at the word "negro" let me just say that I don't particularly like the term "Caucasian" but is still the accurate nomenclature.

I just wonder when we as a people, and I include my entire species under that label, are going to pull our collective heads out of our asses and com to the realization that this is all just meaningless crap and get on with the business of improving ourselves!!!!


RANT OVER.....for now

Friday, December 26, 2008

Change-ish?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Well, gentle readers, it is that time again. The balloons have all deflated and sagged with age and the red, white and blue bunting hangs limp and moldering from the balconies from which it once brightly and proudly shown. The votes have been cast and the concession speeches have been made from between tight bitter lips and gritted teeth. Throughout this entire absurd comedy I have managed to remain relatively silent. While, admittedly, my brief periods of silence are rare and should be enjoyed to their fullest, this one is now over.

It is now time for a reality check. To all those Obama supporters: Please, please, shut the hell up! Now, don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that the guy won and I hope he fulfills the role of President of the United States in a truly admirable fashion, but you guys really need to relax and at least pretend to be capable a little perspective!

I am not talking about those of you who weighed the issues, did your civic duty and went on with your lives. I am talking about those rabid, dangerously idealistic folks who bought into the political hype-machine created by the man's very talented PR team and his undeniable charisma and gift for public speaking.

Idealism is wonderful and necessary thing to advance the species as a whole. It, however, becomes foolish and dangerous when it blinds one to the reality of any given situation. Obama is a very smart and charismatic man but that is all he is: a man. No more, no less. He is not some messiah figure or magical creature that, once installed into the office, will cause the human species to stop acting like total douches to each other and allow the emergence of wise, friendly dragons and beautiful unicorns that shit rainbows and happiness. Sorry, folks, it is just not going to happen. And while I would love to make friends with dragons and rainbow-crapping unicorns, that doesn't make it a part of the cess-pool-like reality we all have to live in and work with.

Quick poll: Everyone who actually believes the magical change that has been promised by the PR machine is actually going to occur, raise your hand. Now, those who now have your hands raised, use it to pick up a history book and a few newspapers and actually read them!

The reality of the situation is this: At least the next three presidential terms are going to be spent desperately trying to clean up the mess left behind by Captain Clusterfuck and his cronies.

Now, let's, for the sake of argument, assume there was no exaggeration made and President-Elect Obama is, in fact, the world's greatest human. It won't matter. No one will see it. The man is still going to have to do a few things that most folks won't like in order to help pull us out of the train-wreck of a situation we are in now. Humans, as a group, have a long and colorful history of being unwilling to see past their own short-term self-interest. We're all special like that. It's a gift.

Now I realize that it is much easier to wave a flag and spout some feel-good slogan than actually thinking for one's self, (hell, it has worked for the current administration for quite some time) but that doesn't make it a particularly good or helpful thing to do. While I give the man credit for being one of the more honest politicians I have heard, he is still just that: a politician. I will say that again for the hard of thinking. He is a politician and that means when he is not kissing babies he is stealing their lollipops (Stealing lines from old movies is also easier than thinking for one's self as well, apparently).

This is not entirely the fault of the politicians. The majority of the blame for this fact lay squarely on the shoulders of the voters. The voters would never elect a completely honest person to powerful political office so we encourage them to tell us what we want to hear, to lie. Can anyone tell me what you get when you continually reward bad behavior? Anyone? Anyone? Those of you who said "more bad behavior", give yourselves a gold star.

Either way, there are going to be a lot of disappointed people throughout the next four years as those who bought into the PR hype, and indeed, still do, come to realize it was just that: Hype. This is particularly unfair to the President-Elect who, I think, despite my annoyance with his more enthusiastic supporters, will do a good job.

Hey, hopefully, I am wrong. I want my unicorn and dragon just as much as anyone... and maybe a magical, wish-granting penguin thrown in there for good measure.

To those who would suggest that I am, in fact, a cynic: Remember, kiddies, a cynic is just a bruised romantic.

Here's hoping!



Rant Over... For Now

All Euphemisms Aside

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


Not so long ago I found myself sitting in a doctor's waiting room doing what most of us do when we find ourselves in that situation, desperately looking for a way to forget that I was sitting in a waiting room. Tragically, the book that I was reading had taken a turn for the boring. This was particularly disappointing to be because I had thus far only managed to get it half of it colored in.

Deprived of my artistic expression I began to search for something else to occupy my mind. The lady who sat a few seats to my right and for some reason felt the need to stare at me without blinking for twenty minutes strait for no apparent reason was no help. Nor was the old lady sitting across from me who, rather that utilizing water to bath in such as we commoner's do, had instead opted for the more sophisticated choice of bathing in perfume. In her defense, however, I will say that she seemed to have chosen the rather delightful fragrance of Eau De Zyklon B. I know my rapidly melting lung tissue appreciated that small touch of class.

As I sat there, gasping for air, the TV bolted to the wall announced that it was time for the news. Normally I pay no attention to the news, the fourth estate having forgotten how to do it's job long ago, but this time something caught my attention. Attempting to refocus my, now oxygen deprived, brain on the TV I heard the story of a young woman who was auctioning off her virginity in order to pay for grad school. I made a note to check out the story when I returned home and promptly passed out.

Upon reviving and making my way home I fired up my porn-choked computer and did a search for the story. Sure enough, I found it. I read the story and then watched a clip of an interview done with the young lady by CNN. For those of you unfamiliar with CNN, it is a cable channel that at one time, in the distant past, showed news stories.

In the brief clip that I saw, the young lady had suggested that what she was doing by selling her virginity was empowering not only herself, but women in general. The truly impressive thing was that she managed to make this statement, not only with a straight face but with a look in her eye that said that she believed the drivel that was issuing forth from her.

There is a word for what she is doing and it is not "empowerment", it's "whoring".

Now, don't get me wrong, I think whoring is a noble profession and should both be legalized world-wide and re-classified as therapy, but it still is what it is. If you engage in sex acts for money, no matter what your reason for needing said money, you are a whore. You are not an empowered anything. Now you can feel empowered by the act but you are still a whore.

Now I know the word "whore" has a negative connotation in our society and the word "prostitute" may sound a bit kinder to the ear but I have always preferred the blatant honesty of the word "whore". It is not a word that hides behind and almost technical sounding facade. It is just there, right out in the open: "WHORE"!!!. It is a word that says: "Here I am in all my glory and if you don't like it you can go fuck yourself... or me, for a price."

I have no problem with what this woman is doing, in fact, I applaud her decision. Hell, the only reason I didn't do this myself was that I could barely give it away (BTW, thank you St. Alcohol). The sad truth, is that I, like most of the people that dwell in this planet, am not "whoring-worthy". If I could do this, I would have already had my PhD by now! If one is whoring-worthy, and chooses to act on it, good on you, but be honest about it!

If you engage in sexual activity for money, you are not a sex-worker, a porn actor/actress, a gigolo, an escort or a gold-digger! You are a whore! Stand up an be proud of it! Go to the window, throw it open, stick your head out and yell to the heavens: "I AM A WHORE AND I AM PROUD SO FUCK YOU, WORLD! Reasonable payment plans available for qualified renters."




RANT OVER... FOR NOW

Parenting 101

Friday, June 13, 2008


Not so long ago some friends of mine had a baby. Now I have been lucky enough to be able to spend a good bit of time with the little one and that got me thinking (you can already tell this is not going to end well) about my own potential parenthood.

It is not completely inconceivable that I might one day find myself a parent either through adoption, fornication or finding a child in a a Cracker-Jack box. I am kind of hoping for that fornication one. Regardless of how it happens, I may find myself facing the same parenty type questions that my friend will soon be staring down the barrel of.

One of the most awkward types of questions parents face form children are those regarding sexuality. As a public service both to my friends and the one or two of you out there who read my drivel I would like to present a sample conversation in which I demonstrate the proper way to handle this situation:




Child: Daddy?

Me: Yes, little Green Lantern? (Incidentally, that is the perfect name for a child. It works for both male or female)

LGL: What is sex?

Me: Well, I am glad you felt you could ask me. Sex is a very special thing between a man and a woman or man and a man or woman and a woman or a man and a box turtle. When two or more consenting adults really love each other, or like each other, or tolerate each other, or are in the same room, they come together in a very special hug. Sometimes they get a hermaphrodite in a spandex gorilla costume to film it and set it to the music of Chopin as interpreted by feral alley cats. Does that clear it up for you?

*Little Green Lantern stares blankly*

Me: I can see you are still confused. Perhapse I can illustrate better with these sock puppets.

*An hour long puppet show ensues*

*Little Green lantern begins to twitch slightly*

Me: Here, let me show you these films I got in Germany that may help you understand a little better.

*Little Green Lantern's eyes widen in terror and years of intense therapy follow. The weeping inside never really stops*





I hope that the above example has been helpful to all of you new, and potential, parents out there.



You are welcome.

More Random Rants

Saturday, May 10, 2008

And now, because you have been bad and need to be punished, more random rants!

First up on the hit parade: bisexuals. Fuck you guys! Now I am not talking about the folks who are mainly heterosexual or homosexual but like to take a swing in the other field (this is officially the closest I have ever come to an actual sports metaphor!) now and again. Hell, I think everyone should try almost everything at least once. I personally am going to give masturbating with a cheese grater, a live carp and a lit blowtorch a miss, but taking the gender you don't usually visit out for a test drive certainly qualifies for the should do list.

No, the people I am talking about are the ones that have absolutely no gender preference at all. The people who can easily see themselves settling down with one gender or the other with no bias towards one or the other.

Now you may be asking yourself: "Self, where does Logan's seething hatred of bisexuals come from? And while we are on the subject who dresses him? Ick! And what the hell is that strange smell? And when the hell is he going to pay back that two dollars that he owes me?!? And, just where the fuck does he get off criticizing how I wear my inflatable zebra suit?!?! And how come-" But I digress.

The origin of my distaste is easily summed up in one word: "jealousy". That's right, pure unadulterated jealousy. I mean here I am, not the most attractive guy out there, broke, with a penchant for saying things that get me dirty looks and my potential dating pool is cut in half right from the start through absolutely no fault of my own. Now you may be saying : "But, Logan, don't you already have a beautiful woman who you are devoted to and is devoted to you? Why would you care if you can't see yourself settling down with a nice boy some day?" The answer is yes, I do have a gorgeous woman whom I love and it will stay that way until I run out of chloroform! It is just the principle of the thing here! Fuck you, bisexuals! You guys suck (and not just in the happy happy joy joy sort of way)! You lucky bastards!

Next up, Firefly. Fuck you, Fox network!!! Way to take a brilliant concept that is both well acted and excellently executed technically and run it into the bloody ground!!! Die in a fire!!!


WARNING!!! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!


Serenity. Fuck you, Whedon!!! At least Book's death had some meaning! What were you thinking about with Wash! He was one of the best characters and you snuff him in a stupid way for no apparent reason!!! That is not "clever" or "realistic", it is lazy writing. The main difference between fiction and real life is that fiction has to make sense! It is not fair and can on occasion can be broken under the right circumstances (I.E. It makes sense in the context of the larger story). But killing off the best character in the show just to attempt to add forced drama to Zoe's fight is lazy at best! Just for that, in my next book, I am going to have a character named Joss who will be killed of in some pointless, stupid way. Hell, I may just do that in all my future books! That'll lern ya! Fear my literary wrath and tremble, ye poop-head!
(I reserve the right to completely rescind this rant should it later prove that Wash's death was some part of a larger over-all plan. I also reserve the right to kill off Joss in all my future works in goofy ways just because I think it is funny. I know, I have issues)

While we are on the subject, sorta, screw you Vegas Browncoats!!! While I was on the project to restore the Ariel Ambulance, not one of you fuckers came out to help, not one! It was not a two man job and we lost the project to a town that could actually generate some bloody support! I hope you all stub your toes in a particularly painful manner! To those that did show up, thank you very much. May you all receive your very own autographed copy of Firefly season two in the very near future!



Rant Over...For Now

Video Games Made Me Kill My Neighbors With a Spoon !

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Well, the new GTA game is out and once again all the worlds ills are being laid squarely at the feet of the big bad video game boogie man. The theory being that violent and sexual images in video games causes real world violence and sexual activity.

I'd like to address the issue of sexuality first. Sexual activity doesn't occur because someone saw it in a video game. Sexual activity occurs because it is fun. Sex is a healthy and enjoyable activity provided, as with almost any other activity in creation, one uses a little common sense. I realize common sense isn't all that common and never really has been a high priority for our species but that isn't the fault of video games. Let's be honest here, if you don't want people to have sex, ENCOURAGE them to play video games for hours and hours. Fill the time that they would normally use to develop social skills with the development of keen fragging skills.

This brings up violence. On this point they are absolutely correct. Video games do, in fact, cause real world violence. I mean, it is not like there was any real world violence before the invention of the video game, right? Oh, wait...

Jack Thomson, a man who is still practicing law despite being certifiably insane, is one of the main proponents of this rather absurd notion. He even went so far as to say that the violent individuals who perpetrated the Colombine shootings "trained" on video games, specifically DOOM. This is incredibly stupid. I have played DOOM and I have shot a gun, the skill set necessary to do each task are not the same. The are not even close. In Mr Thomson's mind, there seems to be few other causes of violence than video games. I have to admit, it would be nice if that were the case. Remove the video games and you remove violence from our society. Know what? Not gonna happen!

We are a violent species. We always have been and it appears as if we will remain so for the foreseeable future. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, hell, it's one of the things that got us to the top rung of the food chain. It is what we are good at. The trick is to channel those violent impulses into non-harmful outlets, say, playing video games.

I freely admit that some truly fucked up people have also played video games, but coincidence does not equal causality. The human mind can take anything and twist it in a dangerous way, we're special like that. This includes video games, but a psychopath playing Pong was not made that way by the video game. This assertion does a tremendous disservice to the mentally ill and society in general. By focusing on this red herring you take time and effort away from things that really might actually help us.

And lets look back to the two boys at Columbine. How were they able to get their hands on all those guns? Did the video game give them to them? How were they allowed to spend all those hours playing? I don't know about you, but I would say that that video game was guilty of being a bad parent! Oh, wait...parents?

Maybe, just maybe, it is not the job of video games and television to act as parents to our precious little snowflakes. But if not video games then who, I ask you, who is supposed to act as parents to our children? Any ideas, folks?

This is a funny transcript of Mr. Thomson being called on his idiocy by G4TV's Adam Sessler on the NPR show Talk of the Nation: http://gamepolitics.com/2008/05/01/jack-thompson-on-npr-if-you-blinked-you-missed-it/


Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!




Rant Over...For Now

Oh Lord, We Beseech Thee... And Stuff

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Check this out: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/04/25/BUCN10C1KR.DTL

Ok, let's just for a moment pretend, for the sake of argument, that praying for something actually works. The fact that none of the people who picked on me in high school have had their genitals spontaneously combust, despite my feverent use of prayer speaks to it's utter uselessness but, let us pretend.

For the purposes of this discussion, lets say that prayer works. Ok, now in my humble-ish estimation the ability to cause divine intervention would qualify as a pretty damn spectacular ability. Some might even call this grand ability a "power". Now, as we all learned from our good friend Spidey, with great power comes great responsibility. I thing the ability to alter time and space as well as telling the laws of physics to get bent surely qualifies as a great power.

So, how do they exercise this power in a responsible manner? They pray for lower gas prices. Wait? What?!?! Is that the most noble use they can come up with for this power? Praying for lower gas prices?!?

I mean here is a power that could make the world a vast utopia for all people for all time and this is the best they could come up with? Damn! What about the dying econnomy, world hunger, world poverty, the war in Iraq?!?! What about Darfur?

According to the most recent UN reports the death-toll in Darfur has reached the 300,000 mark. 300,000 people dead. Men women and children, all dead, most in really nasty ways, and high gas prices are the unspeakable travesty that deserves the attention of this awesome power.

BTW, if you haven't heard of the conflict in Darfur, don't feel bad. They have no oil fields so, as far as our mainstream media and administration are concerned, it doesn't actually exist. It may get some slight lip service when we want to look like we give a shit about anything that doesn't line our leader's pockets but nothing even slightly resembling progress ever happens.

Anyway, back to the point (yes, I have one). If we accept this power as fact, what kind of people are these folks who squander it do recklessly? I mean, this is worse than if Superman took the time to save a cat from a tree while behind him a group of three-year-old orphans were being gang raped by a group of syphilitic inbred guano farmers.

It is called priorities folks. In emergency surgery they call it triage and in our country alone high-gas prices don't even make the top ten list of things that need to be fixed in a big fucking hurry. So the next time you want to feel like you are helping without actually doing anything. Please, by all means, pick a more worthy goal! It is what (insert your chosen deity here) would want or something like that.



Rant Over... For now